The Trad Inc. Night Before Christmas

A Christmas Eve Visit From Leo and Trad Inc.

It was Christmas Eve late, and the house had gone still,

The fire had burned down to a soft little chill;

The kids were all dreaming, my wife was out cold,

And I sat by the tree watching embers turn gold.

---

When out in the street there arose such a sound,

Not wind in the branches but people around;

A cheery commotion, half whisper, half call,

Like someone was hosting a midnight town hall.

---

I pulled on my coat and stepped out in the snow,

To see who could be putting on such a show;

Above the bare treetops, as neat as you please,

Came a sleigh gliding in like it owned the night’s breeze.

---

It hovered a moment, then dipped toward the ground,

So smooth and so practiced, without any sound;

The driver sat smiling, composed and serene,

Like a man who blessed sin and kept his hands clean.

---

He raised up his hand with a calm little call,

Then cleared his throat gently and beckoned them all:

On Eric, on Michael, on Kennedy Hall!

On Kwas, on Flanders, on Taylor Marshall!

---

He landed the sleigh on a field by the street.

And each of the men got up on their feet.

Taylor walked out first and set up a station.

Where he sold signed copies of his book, Infiltration.

---

I asked, “Didn’t you warn us that Prevost was worst?”

“Didn’t you ring the warning bell first?”

Then he looked up at me and he said with a grin.

“Just swipe your card here and then put in your pin.”

---

Sammons started preaching on Vatican II.

Within a minute I could tell he hadn’t a clue.

Then Flanders spoke up and caused a big fuss.

Selling everyone subscriptions to Pelican Plus.

---

Kwas cried out “Vatican I was tragic!”

As he promoted a book on Mysticism and Magic.

Michael was busy “uniting the clans.”

Scrubbing old posts as he handed out bans.

---

Kennedy was proud of his papal approval.

As the Mass in Charlotte faces removal.

Not one of them focused on Leo himself.

Instead each one served as his dutiful elf.

---

Then Leo came forth with greetings of peace.

He said to be grateful that your mass will cease.

“I know that many already have fled.

Just go to the Latin Novus Ordo instead.”

---

Then he crossed the street past Taylor’s kiosk.

As he took off his shoes and entered a mosque.

I then asked his elves, “shouldn’t he be in a church?”

They ignored it and tried to sell me their merch.

---

I stood there a moment, just watching it play,

Like a pop up parade that was both lame and gay;

The snow kept on falling, the streetlamp burned white,

“What became of Trad Inc!? What a pitiful sight.”

---

Then back came the driver, still mild as can be,

As if this was normal as normal could be;

He glanced at the field and gave one little nod,

“What’s wrong with you, people? We all worship God.”

---

They gathered their money and climbed into place,

With pats on the back they said, “we are so based.”

They checked on their Venmo, then began to beam.

Then held up their phones as they started live streams.

---

The runners flashed silver, the sleigh gave a shake,

It lifted so lightly it barely would wake;

It rose past the rooftops, then leaned into flight,

And left me alone with the snow and the night.

---

But I heard as they vanished, with a wink and a bite,

“Now subscribe if you liked it, and zip it, goodnight!”

---

If you value independent Catholic analysis and want to help keep this work going, you can make a contribution or subscribe below. Every donation and subscription directly supports the writing, research, and production of Hiraeth in Exile.

Thank you for helping preserve independent Catholic journalism rooted in truth and tradition.